Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
