nut hugger
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize