i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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