When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I just gift wrapped bread.
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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