I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Randomize
