I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
