I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Randomize
