I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
