see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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