Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
