The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
