I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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