i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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