Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
