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Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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