They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
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