how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
