YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
