Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
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