I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
