butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
