spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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