now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
