Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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