I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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