u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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