it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
