And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
