3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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