i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
