Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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