And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Screwed.edu
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Randomize
