I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Two words: blizzard sex
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
