I just made out with a guy for $7.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize