Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
