I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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