Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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