Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
