I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I think pants incapable of making pants work
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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