i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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