Having a random hookup so left but love u
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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