I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
