Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Randomize
