my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
