I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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