I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
