bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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