ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
