my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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