dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
People in love make me want to vomit
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
