Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
dude i'm inner monologue high
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Randomize
