Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
