quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
