I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Holy shit dude........stairs
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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