i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
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