She is in my trunk
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
