Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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