I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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