I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
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