Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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