did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
