i think my tv is drunk
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
