the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
